Appearance of evil?

Have you ever looked at what 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says? Have you ever actually studied what that means? Yeah we know that we shouldn't look like we are doing the wrong thing, but how far should this go? And what about us as Christians? What should we point out when we see other people doing stuff?

I know that my parents were always telling me to be careful who I hang around with and who I was associated with. That made sense. But what about when I invited people home or was over at their house? How far does appearance of evil go?

First I think it is important to define what evil is. We now view that word as such a bad word reserved for only the worse offenses but what did God mean by evil when he put it in the Bible. James 2:10 talks about how if you keep the whole law but mess up on one point you are guilty of all. So if you lied, you were also as guilty as one who murders. That definitely puts evil in a whole new light doesn't it?

Jesus says in Matthew 12:35 "A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. God doesn't put a line on what is kinda bad, bad, really bad, semi-evil, evil, and really evil. That would be us humans trying to make our sin not look as bad as the next person's. So I go back to my original question...What does appearance of evil mean?

Out of my experience I can tell you that you have to be careful what you do. People will view you according to your actions. So if I was hanging with people who drank, I was considered a drinker. If I hung out with people who smoked or did drugs, I was someone who did that too. If someone hangs out with the goodie-goodies or the smart kids then they are associated with them even if they aren't one.

So what about between guys and girls? Let's take a trip back to high school for a minute. Trust me I don't want to go back either, but hey there is a reason. Think about the kids in your school who were dating. Which ones were labeled the good kids, the bad kids, the sluts, the "man-whores" (for lack of a better term)? Why were they labeled this way? Because they had the appearance of those names. A girl was labeled a slut if she had a different boyfriend on a regular basis, was found kissing her boyfriends in the hall, went to parties and was seen going upstairs, dressed provocatively, or was dating a guy known to take advantage of his girlfriends. If you were a guy in my high school, you more than likely bragged about how many girls you had sex with to your buddies. That was a sign of social status.

Things aren't so different today. Kids are dressing skimpier, they are bombarded by more sexual influences and they have lower moral standards overall. So how does a person who is a Christian abstain from the appearance of evil in today's society. I think we have to head back to the old fashioned values of what a man and a woman should do.

Proverbs 31:30 puts it clearly for a woman. "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." It says in verse 31 that "her own works praise her in the gate." This means that all her actions are known by everyone and they are worthy of praise on their own merit. She wasn't trying to fit in. She followed God and was known for it.

I Corinthians 8:3 says "But if any man love God, the same is known of him." Just like the woman, a man is to put God first and not look to impress his friends. This means following God's laws and wanting to stay pure in all aspects of his life so that he can be well known for being a Godly man.

1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. I love this verse because it states clearly where we need to be from day one. As children, teenagers, on so forth. I wish I could say that no one could despise my youth, but let me honest, I despise my youth because I lived my life and not God's life through me. I did things that will haunt me the rest of my life. The biggest regret I have is not abstaining from the appearance of evil because had I of abstained (not hung out with the kids that slept around, not dated guys who were known for sleeping around, not putting myself in positions where sex was so easily accessible, or giving the guy signals so that he would be impressed with me) from the appearance of sin, I would not have ended up in the positions I was in and I would have been more content with my life because I wouldn't have skeletons in my closet.

As a Christian now and knowing what God's Word say, I have no problem letting it be known when I am not happy with something going on. Not because I am not happy about it, but because God's Word says it is wrong.

Parents, letting your daughter/son go into parts of the house where they can not be monitored is setting them up for failure. You think they won't do something, but they will. Letting your child go to friend's houses that you don't know their parents or where you know they don't believe in the same things you do, your setting your child up for failure. Letting your child watch shows that don't hold up to God's standards or watching them yourselves, appearance of evil. The big question is "What kind of an example are you to your child?"

Teenager/Young person, do you go to the parties where you know God wouldn't approve. What about how you behave with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you find yourself in positions where you are alone together for long periods of time? What about the things you watch? Are they violent, sexual, have a ton of language? What kind of influence are you to your friends? Your siblings?

It boils down to the actions you do are what you are about. If you follow God's laws in private, you will follow them in public. If you do your own thing in private, you will do the same in public and visa versa. What is in the heart will come out. Evil is plain and simple sin of any kind. Sin is plain and simple anything that God doesn't approve of whether it is in your heart, mind, or out in the open for everyone to see.

So parent the next time you let your child's "significant other" sleep at your house or allow them to be back in their room by themselves know that you are contributing to the appearance of evil by allowing them to appear to be having sex or in a sexual position. You are telling your child that you are okay with them having sex. The next time you are watching that movie that has nude scenes or is extremely violent know that you are appearing to sin. If you are talking to that coworker of the opposite sex about things you should be talking to your spouse about, you are appearing to sin.

Teenager/Young person the next time you are cuddled up with your "significant other" in the bedroom, couch, movie theater, etc you are appearing to sin. When you are at the parties with drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, etc. you are appearing to sin. When you watch that movie with nudity, violence, language, etc you are appearing to sin.

And when you appear to sin, you are only a step away from actually sinning. The appearance of evil is the step before actually doing it if you don't do something to stop the appearance.

Identity in Christ

So I have gone back to school and it is a different experience going back and being 10 years older than a lot of my classmates. It is intimidating because you know they are looking at you as the older more mature person. In a sense it gives me accountability and that is really neat.

I also tend to watch people from a different perspective than I did 10 years ago. I see things in a new way not only as an older person but in comparison to my life 10 years ago. I see so many girls that remind me of me at that age. I wish I could say that with pride, but I say it with shame because I was not the example I should have been. I wasn't a Christian, though I claimed to be, and I did not set a good example for many of my peers. I was a follower of the people around me instead of letting the people around me follow me to God.

I was listening on the radio the other night about being happily single because God can use you in a different way that what He can use married people. And whereas I am glad I am married to my wonderful husband, I can see where Paul was going with this. There are so many benefits to being a Godly single person.

I know we are taught from very young that being married is the only way to be. Marriage is a great thing, but it isn't for everyone and it isn't the earlier the better in a lot of cases. So many young people today wrap their identity around their relationships that they lose who they are or never learn who they are by themselves and with Christ. I know because I did this. I was so busy trying to please the person I was with at the time that I compromised what was precious and dear to me. I never learned to stand on my own without someone being there to hold me up. My identity muscles were weak, I guess you could say.

I have now worked on figuring out my identity and who I am in Christ, but it has been a long road. It would have been a lot easier to do on my own and when I was young than having to deal with it now when I have so much baggage piled on top of what God really wants to shine through. I regret very much that I didn't take the time to learn how to be me without someone else.

I am always encouraging young people to be single for a while and be able to figure out who they are without another person around. Especially young women who are taught that they are only complete with someone or once they get married. That's why we see so many women unhappy in marriage is because they don't figure out who they are before they try to love someone else.

Why do you think God tells us to love other AS YOURSELF. You can not love anyone else until you love yourself. You have to love yourself through the good, bad, ugly, and completely unbearable! You can only love yourself with the love of Christ. Otherwise it is downright impossible.

I thank God everyday that He put me with a man that has allowed me to work through the baggage with God only and didn't interfere while I had to do this. But it was also a very trying time for our relationship that thankfully we were able to work through. But I do regret that I didn't take the time to figure out how to survive without a man in my life before I got married the first time.

Here is my request, especially to the young women out there. Please go to college, get a job, and live on your own for a while. Let God show you that you don't have to sacrifice who you are in Him to have a relationship. Then let Him bring the right guy into your life and you will see how great a relationship based on God can be because you were confident in yourself in Christ. And if God wants you to be single. Rejoice in being single because He will use you in mighty and amazing ways!

We will always have struggles, but why make it any harder than it has to be.Figure out who you are in Christ before you complicate the situation by adding someone else. If you are not confident in Christ as yourself then you will take on the personality of the other person and lose yourself. Then you will end up resenting that other person down the road when you realize that you no longer know who you are.

And above all remember God loves you even when it feels like no one else does! He the perfect Father, Husband, Friend, Confidant, and above all Lord.