We were at church last night and I was once again reminded of how women with kids like to look down on women without kids. I already feel awful that I had the decision taken from me and I don't need people reminding me they are somehow better than me, whether they truly are or are not. I try to remember that some people don't know I can't have kids and that it wasn't my choice, but it is still hard to deal with when someone reminds you that you don't have children. Ot that my stepchildren aren't my real children so the feelings toward them aren't the same. It is so hard for me to deal with not having my own children, but I try to rest in the arms and promises of God. It just doesn't stop the feelings that come when people say hurtful things.
Last night when we got home, I was feeling very hurt and very down. I was having a mild pity party. Thankfully my sweet hubby was a great listening ear, but I really wanted someone who knew what I was going through. I googled "Hystorectomy Under 30" and found a wonderful website called HysterSisters.com. Wow what a healing balm for my hurt feelings. This website was filled with other women who had hystorectomy's. Some have children, others who don't. Some as young as I am and others that are older. Some Christian and some not christian. It was awesome to see these women and read their stories and know for 100% certainty that I was having normal feelings and that it is rude for people to treat me any differently.
It goes back to Jesus treating everyone the same and being a friend to the friendless. People tend to forget that Jesus didn't judge on what a person could or couldn't do or what a person had been through. I believe Jesus sees I love my stepchildren and try to do right by them. I know he sees that I love him and am trying to live the life he asks of me. I know he has a plan for me. I just wish sometimes other people would see my heart before they ran their mouths!
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